URGENT: THINGS TO DO BEFORE THE INAUGURATION!
My good friend Steve supplied me with a list of things we need to do while we still can, before the Inauguration!! Who knows what we may be able to do (or not do) after that...
Feel free to add more necessary items at the end of this list!
1. Visit a foreign country and identify yourself as 'American'
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Buy that gas mask you've been putting off.
7. Hoard gasoline.
8. Take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
9. Take a factory tour anywhere in the country.
10. Complete any art piece involving a crucifix that you've started.
11. Come out, then go back in -- but HURRY!
12. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
13. Stay out late before the curfews start.
14. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
15. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident."
16. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
17. Use the phrase, "You can't do that, this is America."
18. Marry interracial, if you wish.
19. Go for a ski in Yellowstone without being hit by a snowmobile.
20. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
21. Start your school day without a prayer.
22. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.>
23. Learn French or German.
24. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.>
25. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
26. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill."
27. Visit Massachusetts while it still exists.
28. Voice a dissenting opinion.
29. Feel that last feeling of being truly private.
30. Enjoy your last time and a half overtime paycheck.
31. Say a final farewell to 1000 more U.S. soldiers.
32. Eat LSD and run naked thru the streets screaming "Who's in charge"!
33. Grow marijuana for a friend who has cancer and needs it to feel better!
34. Name your Toilet "Dubya" and smile....!
Feel free to add more necessary items at the end of this list!
1. Visit a foreign country and identify yourself as 'American'
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Buy that gas mask you've been putting off.
7. Hoard gasoline.
8. Take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
9. Take a factory tour anywhere in the country.
10. Complete any art piece involving a crucifix that you've started.
11. Come out, then go back in -- but HURRY!
12. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
13. Stay out late before the curfews start.
14. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
15. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident."
16. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
17. Use the phrase, "You can't do that, this is America."
18. Marry interracial, if you wish.
19. Go for a ski in Yellowstone without being hit by a snowmobile.
20. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
21. Start your school day without a prayer.
22. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.>
23. Learn French or German.
24. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.>
25. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
26. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill."
27. Visit Massachusetts while it still exists.
28. Voice a dissenting opinion.
29. Feel that last feeling of being truly private.
30. Enjoy your last time and a half overtime paycheck.
31. Say a final farewell to 1000 more U.S. soldiers.
32. Eat LSD and run naked thru the streets screaming "Who's in charge"!
33. Grow marijuana for a friend who has cancer and needs it to feel better!
34. Name your Toilet "Dubya" and smile....!
7 Comments:
hahahahahahahaha. Funny...in a very sad, tragic sort of way. Because there's plenty of truth on that list. (We're moving out of the country if our teenager becomes eligible for the draft. So add...say good-bye to the US if...when...the military draft is reinstated and your child becomes eligible.) Heart, Soul & Humor blog
Wow! Now I am really scared!
Debi,
I agree. Ooooh, the tragicomedy of it all... !
If you're thinking about moving out of the country, Canada may not be the best option. As I understand it, after 9-11 our government reached an agreement with Canada... in the event of reinstatement of the draft in the US, we will have to get permission from our government in order to cross into Canada. In my opinion, this smacks of the way things used to be in the USSR, when the people would have to get travel permits to visit relatives in neighboring cities... And I could be all wet about this agreement with the Canadian government. Any reader who knows this is true or untrue, please enlighten me!
Also, I believe Canada will hire Americans for positions for which they are qualified, but not until they have interviewed all interested/available Canadian nationals first. Thus, it would be helpful if you or a family member has a job which is highly marketable, i.e. if someone is a nurse, doctor, teacher, etc.
I know what you mean, J.Marquis!
As for adding anything to the list, I might suggest we should make fun of Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Tammy Bruce, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Ms. Coulter, William Buckley, George Will, et al while it is still legal to do so!
Ha ha, too good! I have a few more to add:
35. Hug a tree
36. Eat my weight in escargot
37. Get late-term partial birth abortion
38. Find corrupt UN program to embezzle funds from
39. Convince myself that I am smarter, superior, and not to mention better looking than all those gun-toting bible-beating homophobic rednecks who voted for that liar Bush. If that fails, stick to that stolen election story
40. Register to vote (only applicable to convicted felons)
41. Sue Microsoft, Dell and Al Gore for making me fat, lazy and socially oblivious
42. Throw my feces on a wall, call it art, seek public funding
43. Remove head from ass
Snave...Thanks for the Canadian info. We're thinking either Canada or Great Britain. If she is eligible for a draft, she will attend a university outside the US, and we, too, will move, as she is our youngest. We are absolutely serious about this.
Hey Debi, lets hope that the young Republican voters cowboy up and sign up. Although I can't see that actually manifesting itself in the recruiting offices of America.
Eeeew! TA, I don't think I ever said I was a CONSERVATIVE!! Nope, not this guy! 8-)>
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