WHERE IS JIMMY HOFFA?
Where is the body of Jimmy Hoffa?
Whenever that question is asked, I don’t know why I inevitably giggle, chuckle or guffaw, but I DO. Maybe it’s because I like to think of various weird places he might have been hidden away. So where IS his body? Here are some ideas, beginning with some of the more popular theories and gradually degenerating into the world of Snave:
1. Buried in the end zone at Giants Stadium
2. Buried beneath a barn on a farm
3. His corpse is not waterproof and it wears cement overshoes
4. His body was burned beyond recognition at a mob barbeque
5. He was boiled, and the oil skimmed off the water has been blended into perfumes, colognes and personal lubricants
6. His ashes were blended with the concrete used to build Republican Party Headquarters
7. He was deep-fried, small piece by small piece, at a KFC in Chicago
8. He was secretly taken into space and jettisoned into Earth’s orbit
9. Oscar Meyer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A (or with head cheese too, for that matter)
10. The atmosphere was seeded with his ashes, so he is now EVERYWHERE
11. He is still alive, sipping pina coladas in an undisclosed tropical locale with Elvis
12. Who cares?
What do you think? I kind of have to go with #12, because I’m not sure why anybody would really care.
All I really care about here is that whoever killed Hoffa and hid the body did it CREATIVELY. A plain old cement-overshoes thing? Or a simple shooting and burial? Those just don't cut it. I like to think nobody will ever figure out this mystery because the deeds were done in a creative manner. That makes speculation about it a FUN thing for me, rather than considering his probable murder and disappearance something abhorrent.
So, let's have some fun here! I want to hear about where YOU think he is.
Whenever that question is asked, I don’t know why I inevitably giggle, chuckle or guffaw, but I DO. Maybe it’s because I like to think of various weird places he might have been hidden away. So where IS his body? Here are some ideas, beginning with some of the more popular theories and gradually degenerating into the world of Snave:
1. Buried in the end zone at Giants Stadium
2. Buried beneath a barn on a farm
3. His corpse is not waterproof and it wears cement overshoes
4. His body was burned beyond recognition at a mob barbeque
5. He was boiled, and the oil skimmed off the water has been blended into perfumes, colognes and personal lubricants
6. His ashes were blended with the concrete used to build Republican Party Headquarters
7. He was deep-fried, small piece by small piece, at a KFC in Chicago
8. He was secretly taken into space and jettisoned into Earth’s orbit
9. Oscar Meyer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A (or with head cheese too, for that matter)
10. The atmosphere was seeded with his ashes, so he is now EVERYWHERE
11. He is still alive, sipping pina coladas in an undisclosed tropical locale with Elvis
12. Who cares?
What do you think? I kind of have to go with #12, because I’m not sure why anybody would really care.
All I really care about here is that whoever killed Hoffa and hid the body did it CREATIVELY. A plain old cement-overshoes thing? Or a simple shooting and burial? Those just don't cut it. I like to think nobody will ever figure out this mystery because the deeds were done in a creative manner. That makes speculation about it a FUN thing for me, rather than considering his probable murder and disappearance something abhorrent.
So, let's have some fun here! I want to hear about where YOU think he is.
6 Comments:
I can't believe that I am the first one to make a guess...
I think the news this week is pretty desperate for diversion- now they are saying under a horsefarm in Michigan....lame...very.
( oh, I forgot to guess-under a restop in New Jersey - the Clara Barton is Lovely in Spring)
Thanks for the visit, Enigma! I looked at your profile and noticed you are also a Monty Python fan! Very nice. I think I have all their movies on DVD now, and their 6-CD "Instant Record Collection". Wonderful stuff! My favorite Python skit is probably the one where Terry Jones is supposedly going to eat a cathedral, then when he tries, and a horrific crunching sound is heard, he runs away screaming with his hands to his mouth! Heheheh...
Maybe Hoffa is buried beneath a cathedral somewhere? Or maybe the French taunters will hurl his body from the top of the castle, along with the cows and other things!
Run away! Run away!
Knowing how the Repubs feel about unions, my guess is #6.
Good list!
He was kidnapped by skulls and had a esthetic facial operation and now he's Vitor Entornado, a important and well known man in the circle of mafia of touristic paradises for very wealthy diamond's piercing kinda'o'people. His the right arm of the leader of that turistic paradise's boss and now he's pretending to marry the boss's daughter, who's in fact a defected member of a very known royal family, with laves of corruption (just slightly, not big deal) and he's at the island of St.Helena, where once was Napoleon.
GTX, I like your guess the best!! Where did you get your information, by the way? 8-)>
Stephen Colbert Show
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