A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the
densest element yet known to science.
The new element has been named "Bushcronium". Bushcronium has one
neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant
deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311. These particles are
held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by
vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol for Bushcronium is "W."
Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly
interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant
deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to
as "Critical Morass."
When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates Foxnewsium, an
element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as
incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many