AN ADDICT CONFESSES, AND ATTEMPTS TO CONFRONT

I have not been blogging on a regular basis for a long time, like over two years... but I have been considering using this as a way for honing my writing skills.  Bear with me, my little guinea pigs.  I may be here more often than you would like, if you are even here to notice.  I hope you will stop by once in a while. 

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My life on social media was fun, and it was addictive.  Maybe coming back to this blog represents a marginal return, but I have been off Facebook for a year or so now, and for the most part it has been good for me.

 

When I was doing Facebook, I spent at least an hour a day with it, sometimes two hours or more.  It was nice to see what so many people were saying and doing.  I checked in on whichever of my friends I happened to think of.  That part was fine but it was time-consuming.  When I got to posting things on my own page it seemed like I was doing it mostly for the purpose of entertaining others, seeing how many “likes” I could generate, and as one friend described it, “The John Evans method of Facebook:  just keep throwing stuff up on the wall and see what sticks”.   All told, my Facebook time gradually became sort of a desultory exercise.  

 

Another thing was odd.  I am a junkie when it comes to politics, and I did not want to post many political things on my own page because I tend to shy away from conflict, yet I had no problem with going to other people’s pages and arguing politics on their turf.  It was almost exclusively on pages where I agreed with that particular friend’s leanings.  Somehow, that just did not feel right.  Was I staying in a secure, safe place?  A bubble?  I felt the need to escape. 

 

How many “likes” would my posts generate?  What purpose did getting those “likes” serve?  Was I seeking a sort of validation?  Was I taking something simple and making more out of it than necessary?  Possibly.  Even if so, did I need that kind of worry and headache?  No.         

 

Before I left Facebook I posted a message to let my friends know I would be leaving, and that they could reach me through email messages, Messenger, or phone calls.  Almost a year later, someone I have known since we were both babies sent me a sad note on Messenger about how she had been “unfriended” by me.  I unfriended or blocked several people while I was a Facebook user, but she was not one of those.  I explained to her that she simply had not checked out my page often enough to know what I was up to.  As we like to say online, “LOL”.    

 

It got to where I was spending so much time on Facebook that I became uneasy, and the last straw was the slew of revelations about the loss of privacy on the platform.  I believe Facebook started as a great idea, as a place where people could congregate online, be friends, and have discussions.  As it has turned out, Facebook is still good for those things.  I believe it has also turned out to be a tool for spreading negativity, hatred, and disinformation, and we have plenty of that already in today’s world.  I noticed the general tone getting nastier, and nastier, and nastier.  People say things to others online that they would never say to a stranger on the street.  Despite most of my Facebook friends using the platform for the best of purposes and intentions, it was time to split.  As for Twitter?  I have never done it, and I never will.

 

I have worked to leave many of those things behind.  I am out of the loop now when it comes to quite a few things that are going on in Facebook World, but I know who my real friends are.  I do not have much problem staying in touch with them, and I do make that effort.  All I have to do is reach out, and I can do it without hosting a Facebook page.  And I have a page with Instragram, for having fun and for sharing pictures with others.  You can always feel free to come check it out. 

 

Some would argue that everyone should be involved with Facebook, because everyone being online all the time is where our future is heading.  Well… call me an old fud.  I am fine with that characterization, as I would rather just not try to dive into a future that is evolving faster than my head can satisfactorily follow.

 

Despite all of this, I am thinking Facebook and social media in general are not the social culprits in America nowadays as much as our smartphones are when it comes to the deterioration of our society.  Phones are ubiquitous.  Ten years ago, it was not so bad, but now it seems like nobody can live without the phones.  People have them out everywhere, all of the time, myself included.  I am not on Facebook, but now I am constantly looking at news, following ball games, messaging people, and playing word games.  Still too much time on the phone, and not enough time really communicating with other people, playing musical instruments, reading books… it makes me feel diseased, as if I am not fulfilling my potential as a human being.

 

As a Speech-Language Pathologist, I have spent my career in an attempt to help others gain or regain interpersonal communication skills.  Sometimes electronic devices are necessary for helping people communicate with each other, but I have always shunned their use in teaching communication skills, particularly with kids.  As our society’s face-to-face communication skills are diminished and de-emphasized, so deteriorates our society.  It is no small wonder to me that our country now has a president such as Trump… a true product of our society’s dumbing-down over the past 20 years, in my opinion.  And, perhaps sadly, I believe smartphones and social media have accelerated our dumbing-down process.          

 

I'll change the subject here (but not really), by asking "What will you be doing this summer? "   

 

I will spend time on my smart phone, because it is an addiction I simply cannot seem to conquer… but I also plan to be outside in our back yard doing some gardening, going for frequent walks, going for drives in the local countryside, reading a number of books, playing some music, doing some writing.  I might record some songs, which is something I have not done in a long time. 

 

Perhaps most importantly, I will have some good face-to-face conversations with family and friends.  For me, that is real communication.