Wednesday, January 26, 2005

LONG LIVE RALPH WIGGUM!

"What's lime disease?"
"Does that mean you're crazy?"
"I'm going to eat chocolate 'til I barf!"
"Yes, but what man can tame her?"
"And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life." "He's still funny, but not 'ha-ha' funny."
"My parents won't let me use scissors."
"So, do you...like...stuff?"
"It says 'I Choo-choo-choose You,' and there's a picture of a train!"
"The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there."
"What's a battle?"
"You're deceptive."
"Wheee! ...ow, I bit my tongue!"
"I'm Idaho."
"My cat's name is mittens"
"What's a diorama?"
"I beat the smart kids! I beat the smart kids!"
"I bent my wookie."
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

Ralph: "Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent."
Miss Hoover: "Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?"
Ralph: "He was going to the bathroom."

"Principal Skinner, I got carsick in your office."
"Ow, my face is on fire!"
"Somebody took my juice money!"
"I won! I won!"
"Me fail English? That's unpossible."
"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and I'mnot allowed to turn on the stove."
"I'm a boy!"
"I don't feel right."

Ralph: "Miss Hoover? The floor is shaking."
Miss Hoover: "Ralph, remember the time you thought the --"
[gusher explodes through the ceiling, taking Ralph with it]

"Um, hi, Bart. I know you from school."
"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"
"When I grow up, I'm going to bovine university!"
"I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in therestaurant and they had to close the restaurant."
"Was president Lincoln okay?"
"That is sooo 1991."
"My neck hurts and my ear hurts. I have two owwies."
"I'm pedaling backwards!"
"I heard a Frankenstein lives there!"
"Hi, Lisa! We're going to be in a pie!"
"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet makingbabies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me."
"My knob tastes funny."
"I dress myself!"
"I think I wet my bed."
"Daddy, these rubber pants are hot."
"Look, big daddy, it's regular daddy."
"Maybe she drove to the moon."
"Which one is oral?"
"No, Miss Hoover, I'm Ralph."
"Which one is one?"
"Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school."
"Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty."
"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."
"But you're suffering!"
"Bye, witches! Thanks for not eating me!"
"I'm special!" (twice)
"You're going to heaven!"

Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."

"Go, banana!"
"I ated the purple berries"
"It tastes like ... burning"
"I found a moon rock in my nose!"
"Hey, I know you, my daddy took your beer."
"Your hair is tall, and pretty!"
"Help! She's touching my special area!"
"My toys are all sticky."
"Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours."
"Bushes are nice 'cause they don't have prickers. Unless they do. This one did. Ouch!"
"This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end."
"That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things!"
"He's gonna smell like hot dogs."
"Maybe it's presents for all of us!"
"Then, the doctor told me that BOTH my eyes were lazy! And that'swhy it was the best summer ever."
"This snowflake tastes like fishsticks."
"Is this my house?"
"She's gonna say my name!"
"Hi, Principal Skinner! Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!"
"Somebody should iron you."
"Look, Daddy, a whale egg!"
"You're King David! I love you 'cause you kill people."
"Intercourse?"
"Daddy says I'm _this_ close to sleeping in the yard."
"And I want a bike and a monkey and a friend for the monkey."
"At my house, we call them [fires] 'Uh-Oh's.'"
"Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!"
"I can't breathe good and it's making me sleepy."
(Pointing at Homer) "Mommy has bosoms like that."
"Mr. Flanders, you're blinded-ed."
"I fell out two times."
"Teacher, my shoes are making noise."
"My daddy shoots people!"
"Lisa's bad dancing makes my feet sad."
"I ate too much plastic candy."
"Freeze, you crazy mommy!"
(After being soaked in fake blood) "I look like cable TV!"
"Sim-Sim likes to boogie."
"Mr. Army Man, I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit!"
He says a scouring pad is "cold and hurty"
(After seeing the comic store's "Adult Section") "Everybody's hugging!"
"Whee! I'm a pop sensation."
"I'm wearing a bathrobe, and I'm not even sick."
"Pop music's hard work."
"I wanna twirl."
"His tummy sounds angry, daddy."
"We're a totem pole!"
[about Homer's knee wound] "Can I touch it?"
"It's healing over my hand!"
"You have the bestest Dad. He read me a story about Chinese food.
[when asked to say a swear] "Mittens!"
"I almost died."

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