Tuesday, April 05, 2005

FECES IN THE NEWS: YUMMY YUMMY YUMMY I GOT ..... IN MY TUMMY

TORONTO (CP) -- An accused drunk driver tried but failed to foil a police breathalyzer after stuffing his mouth full of feces. "I don't think alcohol alone would make you do something as disgusting as that," South Simcoe Police Insp. Tom McDonald said.

"I've never heard of anything like this before," said the 28-year police veteran.

Arrested Sunday after his Ford pickup was pulled over on a highway just outside of Barrie, the 59-year-old driver was loaded into a cruiser and taken to a police station for testing.

En route, Sgt. James Buchanan said the prisoner vomited, urinated and defecated in the rear of the car.

After arriving at the station, he said the man grabbed a handful of his own waste "and placed it in his mouth, attempting to trick the breathalyzer machine."

It didn't work, Buchanan said.

The motorist was charged with impaired driving, plus driving with more than 80 mg of alcohol in 100 ml of blood in his system.

"This fellow was in dire need of help. It's bizarre, but the effects of alcohol can make people do strange things," McDonald said.

The cruiser took two hours to clean and "it's back on the road."

7 Comments:

Blogger Damien said...

Oh man, I can't, ney I won't. Dammmmn, and the moral of this story boys and girls?

5:08 PM  
Blogger Gary said...

loving feces in the news! such a nice change of pace from the regular rants. keep it up!

7:31 PM  
Blogger sleepybomb said...

this is very disturbing. i detect a trend, a friend of mine did this many years ago, (before urban legends and the internet), he got away with it. . . ahh technology. . . stoppin' those drunkin shit eaters!
spare us a follow up tho.
m.a.

7:43 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Not to worry, Sleepy! While I do plan to continue fecal articles, I will do my utmost to refrain from illustrating them!

Gary, thanks for the nice comment. I can only do so much ranting before I get burned out, so then I need to go to other things I know best, like music, sports, scatology... !

Damien, I know what you mean. Yuck!

8:23 PM  
Blogger Sheryl said...

I don't know that this article is so out of place. I've just been catching up with your blog, and it appears to me that a lot of your recent entries are about people who are full of shit.

2:14 AM  
Blogger Lizzy said...

Ditto to Sheryl's comment.

You're too funny, Snaver. : )

8:20 AM  
Blogger girlgrey said...

being arrested is bad enough. but being arrested in the car where that guy was the most recent detainee would be a truly horrific experience.
i'm sure he wasn't the only one who vomited in the car. damn.

4:38 PM  

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