CONSERVO-SPEAK
I am not sure who the author of the following is, but I greatly
enjoyed it. I found it at a nice site called
"The Reich-Wing Republican Joke Page". Check it out at
http://web.infoave.net/~dennmac/reich-wing/ !
"Conservo-speak"
"Sound Jurisprudence" = court rulings conservative like
"Judicial Activism" = court rulings conservatives hate
"Special Interests" = lobbiests conservatives don't like
"Industry Spokesmen = lobbiests on the conservative payroll
"Law and Order" = government enforcing laws conservatives like
"Government Interference" = laws conservatives don't like
"Runaway Litigation" = lawsuits against big business
"Tort Reform" = legal protection for big business
"Refugees" = boat people conservatives like
"Illegal Immigrants" = boat people conservatives hate
"Faith-based Organization" = religions conservatives like
"Cults" = religious movements conservatives disapprove of
"Militia leaders" = armed locals with conservative ideas
"Warlords" = armed foreigners who frighten conservatives
"Protection of Strategic Interest" = US interventionism
"Violation of Sovereign Boundaries" = when anyone else does it
"Welfare Queen" = federal handouts to people
"Vital Subsidy" = federal handouts to corporations
"Public Servant" = conservative congressmen
"Career Politician" = liberal congressmen
"Regrettable incident" = scandal involving a Republican
"Failure of liberal values" = scandal involving a Democrat
"Stock Market collapse" = share price slide under a Democratic president
"Market Correction" = share price slide under a Republican president
"Concerned Scientist" = an expert conservatives agree with
"Environmental Extremist" = an expert liberals agree with
"Unemployment" = people out of work under Democratic Administrations
"Labor surpluses" = people out of work under Republican Administrations
"Team Player" = a Republican Senate Majority Leader or House Speaker during a Republican administration
"Obstructionist" = a Democratic Senate Majority Leader or House Speaker during a Republican administration
"Consulting Fee" = When a Republican legislator gets cash from an interested organization
"Bribe" = When a Democrat legislator gets cash from an interested organization
"Resolute" = a conservative blundering ahead when all evidence points to his/her chosen course being completely wrong
"Waffling" = a liberal displaying thoughtfulness or weighing all the options
"Meltdown" = a liberal who delivers a scathing speech against a member of the opposition
"Tears _____ a new one" = a conservative who delivers a scathing speech against a member of the opposition
"Naked Aggression" = When a country conservatives don't like invades another country.
"Pre-emptive Self Defense = When a country conservatives like invades another country.
"No Mandate" = When an incumbent Democratic president wins by a small margin.
"Winning Handily" = When an incumbent Republican president wins by the smallest margin in history.
"Enforcing the will of the people" = When a Republican politician pushes an issue the public at large agrees with.
"Exhibiting political courage" = When a Republican politician pushes an issue the public at large doesn't agree with.
enjoyed it. I found it at a nice site called
"The Reich-Wing Republican Joke Page". Check it out at
http://web.infoave.net/~dennmac/reich-wing/ !
"Conservo-speak"
"Sound Jurisprudence" = court rulings conservative like
"Judicial Activism" = court rulings conservatives hate
"Special Interests" = lobbiests conservatives don't like
"Industry Spokesmen = lobbiests on the conservative payroll
"Law and Order" = government enforcing laws conservatives like
"Government Interference" = laws conservatives don't like
"Runaway Litigation" = lawsuits against big business
"Tort Reform" = legal protection for big business
"Refugees" = boat people conservatives like
"Illegal Immigrants" = boat people conservatives hate
"Faith-based Organization" = religions conservatives like
"Cults" = religious movements conservatives disapprove of
"Militia leaders" = armed locals with conservative ideas
"Warlords" = armed foreigners who frighten conservatives
"Protection of Strategic Interest" = US interventionism
"Violation of Sovereign Boundaries" = when anyone else does it
"Welfare Queen" = federal handouts to people
"Vital Subsidy" = federal handouts to corporations
"Public Servant" = conservative congressmen
"Career Politician" = liberal congressmen
"Regrettable incident" = scandal involving a Republican
"Failure of liberal values" = scandal involving a Democrat
"Stock Market collapse" = share price slide under a Democratic president
"Market Correction" = share price slide under a Republican president
"Concerned Scientist" = an expert conservatives agree with
"Environmental Extremist" = an expert liberals agree with
"Unemployment" = people out of work under Democratic Administrations
"Labor surpluses" = people out of work under Republican Administrations
"Team Player" = a Republican Senate Majority Leader or House Speaker during a Republican administration
"Obstructionist" = a Democratic Senate Majority Leader or House Speaker during a Republican administration
"Consulting Fee" = When a Republican legislator gets cash from an interested organization
"Bribe" = When a Democrat legislator gets cash from an interested organization
"Resolute" = a conservative blundering ahead when all evidence points to his/her chosen course being completely wrong
"Waffling" = a liberal displaying thoughtfulness or weighing all the options
"Meltdown" = a liberal who delivers a scathing speech against a member of the opposition
"Tears _____ a new one" = a conservative who delivers a scathing speech against a member of the opposition
"Naked Aggression" = When a country conservatives don't like invades another country.
"Pre-emptive Self Defense = When a country conservatives like invades another country.
"No Mandate" = When an incumbent Democratic president wins by a small margin.
"Winning Handily" = When an incumbent Republican president wins by the smallest margin in history.
"Enforcing the will of the people" = When a Republican politician pushes an issue the public at large agrees with.
"Exhibiting political courage" = When a Republican politician pushes an issue the public at large doesn't agree with.
6 Comments:
It's like the Terrorists and Freedom Fighters in Central America during the '80s. If they were trying to overthrow the government of El Salvador or Guatemala they were terrorists. If they were trying to overthrow the Nicaraguan government they were freedom fighters.
TH: Ain't semantics great? 8-)>
Semantics is great, but the Republcian phrases are so cliche and annoying too.
Don't you agree?
Yes, they are truly ingredients in the fire which makes my blood boil!!
I wish that they would just shut up with the conviction, liberal media (which annoys me because it is not true), and activist judges.
We need to come up with our Own version of Contract with America.
Semantics are great.
Geez, I had the grammar of a Republican there for a minute. Yikes!
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