Friday, September 21, 2007


You might want to have a wastebasket nearby for these:

*I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
* Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
* Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
* The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
* To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
* When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
* The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
* A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
* A thief fell in wet cement. And broke his leg . He became a hardened criminal.
* Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
* We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
* When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U C L A.
* The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.
* The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
* The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
* If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
* A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
* What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway)
* A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
* A backward poet writes inverse.
* In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
* A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.
* If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
* With each marriage she got a new name and a dress.
* Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.
* When a clock is really hungry it goes back four seconds.
* The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
* A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.
* You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
* He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
* A calendar's days are numbered.
* A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
* A boiled egg is hard to beat.
* He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
* A plateau is a high form of flattery.
* When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
* When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
* Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
* Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
* Acupuncture: a jab well done.
* And finally, there was the person who sent forty-two different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them. Laugh. No pun in ten did.

Monday, September 17, 2007


The busy-ness continues!

The move went well, and Katie is safely ensconced in her dorm room. It looks like it will be a good situation for her. Her roommate seems very nice, and their room shares a bathroom and a small kitchenette with the floor’s RA. The laundry facilities are about two doors away, and the elevator is straight out their front door, right there in their floor’s lobby. The dorm has a nice dining facility, and there are loads of cool shops and eateries within a few blocks. My cousin’s house is ten minutes away by car, and the magnificent Powell Books store is about a 20-minute walk. Now if Katie will just get her studies taken care of…! Heh… I am confident she will learn to balance the work with the fun.

Kit and I will now do some extensive housecleaning... both our kids are NOT housekeepers. There will be lots and lots of crap to sort through and stow away (and throw away) in both their rooms. At this point, Katie’s older sister Kelly (who lives in an apartment a few houses away from our place) has not come to pick up lots of her loose miscellaneous stuff, and it is sitting around in her room in small boxes and plastic bags, or it's just loose. She hasn't taken her computer desk or her dresser to the apartment, either. Kit and I will put most of Kelly's stuff into her closet and then move the bed from Katie's room into Kelly's room.

We will sort and put away as much of Katie's leftover stuff as there is room for in her closet and dresser, and then we'll repaint her room… It has only one window, which is on the NE corner of our downstairs, providing very little outside light. Katie and I painted the room to her specs about five years ago: a blood-red ceiling, bright red doorframes and window frames, bright yellow doors, and bright yellow walls with red sponge painting. Ugh... It will probably take a couple of primer coats to cover all that color. Once that room is repainted, my music stuff will probably be set up in there.

But that's getting ahead of things... this week we will just be cleaning up lots of the loose clutter that has built up in our house. Our dining room table does not often get used as a place to eat, because it tends to collect so much of the kids' junk that it's often too messy. The end tables by our couches are covered with loose papers and other stuff. There are lots of cobwebs, lots of dust. The bathroom the kids shared is a mess and needs a thorough cleaning. Anyway, during the next few days we plan to make lots and lots of progress.

I am at once sad and happy to have the kids out of the house. Due to their messiness, it is a relief they are moved out. Due to their fun personalities and the unconditional love our family members have for each other, it's no fun to be without them. So I guess I could say materially, I don't miss them much but spiritually, I miss them like crazy. Kit and I have some good ideas for how to spend time without the kids around, and one of those things involves eating what we want, when we want to. Our girls are so picky about what they like to eat that we have rarely if ever been able to please them with anything we cook for the family to eat. Now, Kit and I will have less stress around the food thing, and we will probably eat less, eat less often and/or eat less due to stress… and we will eat healthier. I look forward to the times Kit and I will have to reconnect after years of focusing on, living with and dealing with the girls and their issues, as much as I look forward to the times the girls will be home to visit. And I'm certain we will see Kelly quite often as long as she is in town.

I feel like I don’t have much to say re. politics that I haven’t already said a thousand times or more. Bush stinks, Cheney stinks, and the way they inspire fear in so many millions of people here and abroad stinks too. I think there are about 490 days left in the Bush administration, and the number continues to decrease… I can remember when the number was around a thousand, then down to 900, then down to 800… and not too far from now, it will be less than a year! Nonetheless I find it hard to convince myself that any light I might perceive at the end of the tunnel is little more than the headlamp of an oncoming train. Given that the administration is jonesing for a confrontation with Iran, and given their stubborn stupidity on Iraq, I see things getting worse before they get better.

Maybe cooler heads will prevail, and America will prevent Bush from getting us in a worse mess than he already has. Maybe not. We will have to take things one day at a time and see what happens, and do our best, whatever that might be, to help prevent things from getting worse. As I see it, this means “keeping the faith” and “fighting the good fight”. I am not sure that if the Democrats prevail on a large scale it will mean things would suddenly be great, but I have to believe things would at least be better for America. As long as America realizes we are better without neoconservatives running the country, things will be better. And I think that is what we can talk about during the next year: how can we help to make things better for America and for the world?

Let's keep talking about it!

Friday, September 14, 2007


I haven't had any time or energy to write anything on this blog for the last week or so. My younger daughter is heading off to college today, and my wife and I have been helping her sort through her things and get packed. With my older daughter having moved out of the house and into an apartment here in town, and now with our younger one leaving for school at the other end of the state, we also have some massive housecleaning and reorganization ahead of us. It's both a fun time and a sad time for us... The kids are growing up and heading out into the world, and we will more-or-less be "empty nesters". I'll miss having the kids around, but I doubt they will miss my farting and belching all that much. I have a hunch they will miss my teasing, they'll miss their mom and me, and they will miss Baby Mackie, Bonnie and Abby. But life shifts around, it changes, and different life priorities emerge. While it has been hard to think of my 19- and 20-year-olds as young adults, it is becoming easier.

I'll probably post something here next week. In the meantime, check out some places on my list of links, and take a peek back here on Monday or Tuesday. See you soon!