The Top Ten things that would be different if the Disciples were Gay:

10) Priests would not get married.....wait a minute....
9) Jesus wouldn't wear a white robe after Labor Day.
8) Fewer "Sermons on the Mount", more "Musicals".
7) Gospels would be Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce.
6) Virgin Mary's hair would be flawless.
5) Would not have chased money changers out of the temple - they would have redecorated.
4) Turn water into dry martinis with just a splash of curacao for color.
3) Instead of the Last Supper, it would have been the Last Brunch with cabaret.
2) Replace the Beatitudes with "Fabulous are they. . ."
1) Triumphant Entry just screams for a Drag number.